What I wish I could tell my teenage self about sex and masturbation

Strange isn't it, that as a child, you thought about nakedness and body parts and how babies were made constantly and yet never felt guilty about it. As soon as you related those thoughts and feelings to the word 'sex', they become deeply shameful. What a fucker. Just as you're finding out how to operate … Continue reading What I wish I could tell my teenage self about sex and masturbation

It REALLY couldn’t happen to a nicer…child

It’s my last column for Standard Issue – *sniff* – so I thought I’d do something a little bit different. During the past six months, I’ve talked to a comedian, an actor, a writer, a PR person, a public speaker, a former commando, a young globetrotter, a teacher, a hipster, a naughty elf  and a political strategist. But today, I’m going to … Continue reading It REALLY couldn’t happen to a nicer…child